Friday, September 18, 2009
The thing that amazed me most, though (although deep inside, I know it shouldn’t), is the vessel she used to mail the deposit. You would think that a professional woman, with her own real estate “business,” could at least spring for a semi-professional envelope, maybe even (*gasp*!) of the security type. Apparently not. No, instead I received my hefty check in the return envelope from her latest bill from her insurance company. Of the window variety, meaning you could see my happy check hanging out inside, because she (naturally) couldn’t be bothered to accompany the check with even a short note of some kind, you know, “Nice doing business with you!” or even, “Have a good life!”
As I thought about it, the whole thing pretty much summed up my entire experience with the woman, the house, everything. It involved her taking the least amount of her time doing as little as possible for as cheaply as possible, to hoop with everyone else. Which makes me ever more glad that I am finally, finally done.
Nice doing business with you, Cornelia. Have a good life.
Friday, September 11, 2009
But rather than take the time to write about all that, I’m going about this post the lazy way. Meaning I’m going to copy a bunch of stuff I’ve already written.
For context’s sake, I should first tell you that Corella & I keep each other awake from time to time at work with short, random emails. Here are a few snippets of said emails from me, all from this week. Frankly, you may want to just stop reading now.
•I'm only slightly worried about the yarn, since it's boucle and I'm not completely sure I'll be able to keep it even.
•I need this day to be over, like, now. If I don't leave a vomitous mess on my keyboard before the day is out, it will be a miracle.
•I should have known what this day was going to be like before I even left the house this morning. Like, when I couldn't figure out where my bra was, until I realized 30 seconds later that I'd already put it on. Yep, that kind of a day.
•Boys are stupid. Boy stalkers are just ridiculous.
•I want to hear details of the sobbing. Because I hate her.
(Stop judging. It’s reality tv.)
•I love that one of the pillars of the church uses the word *knockers* at choir practice.
•I just started counting in my head/on my fingers the number of months so far in the fiscal year, but instead of mentally saying "April, May, June, July, August" in my head as I extended each finger, my brain started saying, "Genesis, Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers…"
I. Need. Help.
•When I get married, I'm going to have somebody play just the intro to Let's Get It On as we're running through the birdseed/bubbles/whatever to the car.
•Just remember, it's all about the tongue, baby.
I haven’t fallen asleep yet.
*So full, in fact, that the new roomie was worried when I was late coming home one night that I had stopped by the unit and a bunch of stuff fell on my head and knocked me out.
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Are you ready? Closer!
Okay, here goes.
I am a Summer TV-Smut whore.
There, I said it. I know, I know, who would believe it, right? (*ahem*) Until recently, this sickness was limited to really only two embarrassing shows, at least for this summer: So You Think You Can Dance (go Jeanine!) and (*hangs head in shame*) The Secret Life of the American Teenager.
Granted, I have watched Secret Life since its entangled inception, watching with rapt attention the metamorphosis of Amy from naïve good girl to hormonal pregnant teen to jealous teenage mother (and my personal favorite metamorphosis: Grace, from the quintessential *Jesus Barbie* to new med camp graduate, with a little “My dad’s plane crashed because I got laid” in between). I could go on about the little quirky things that make me so addicted, or the moments that actually make me laugh out loud (“GROIN INJURY!!!!!!”), but I won’t get into all that here. Honestly, I don’t think I would have even classified this show as “smut” until recently, especially since this is a show directed to the tween & teen stage-of-lifers. But a week or two ago, I watched the show with a friend of mine who had never seen it before. And honestly? Trying to explain who all the different characters were made me realize this is a teen version of a late-night drama, or at best (worst?), a teen soap opera.
That guy is dating the girl with the baby.
That’s the father of the baby, who is sleeping with the girl who broke up the Jesus Barbie and her boyfriend the first time around, but who really wants to be with his baby mama.
That woman is the mom of the girl with the baby, who is currently pregnant with her ex-husband’s baby, and who just broke off an engagement with some other dude and is now contemplating dating some old friend before she decides if she’ll let her ex-husband move back in. (granted, the “old friend” turned out to be the ex-husband.)
That’s the slut. She dated her brother for awhile.
That’s the dad of the guy dating the girl with the baby. He’s engaged to a woman he doesn’t know was an internet-order prostitute, who went on a date with the Down’s syndrome kid.
He’s the dad of the girl with the baby. He installed a urinal in the garage.
So anyway, until recently, Adrian, the Teenage Whore and SYTYCD were pretty much my only two “I’m ashamed I watch this” shows. And then, one night, I just happened to be flipping through a few channels, nothing much was on, and I randomly stopped on some good ol’ Fox reality fun. And I can’t stop watching. Like, I’m addicted. And I can’t figure out why. But honestly, More to Love has me sitting on my couch on Tuesday nights, eating frozen pizza and trying to figure out just how that larger woman is going to manage to belly dance. I don’t really know what else to say at this point, other than I probably lost more brain cells last night than I inhaled calories. The show has sucked me in, and although I’m super glad the loud-mouth witch went home last night, and I’m not really sad about the loss of the painfully shy girl who had never dated before, I can’t wait until next week to find out which two are going home next (and which four aren’t).
The fall season needs to hurry up and get here. I can’t take the loss of any more of the few brain cells I have left.
Monday, August 10, 2009
So I walk into the rest area on my most recent trip south, and they have put signs over each bathroom door. The women's restroom says "TEMPORARY MEN'S," while the men's says the opposite: "TEMPORARY WOMEN'S." Both bathrooms were open, usable. So I walk into the "temporary women's," and am slightly startled as I round the little corner, when there in front of me is a teenage guy scrubbing the urinal. Another person of the female persuasion has entered the washroom just before me, and asks, "Um, is this open?"
The kid responds, "Yeah! Go ahead."
So I hurry about my business, still kind of creeped out, and finish up and wash my hands. As I'm finally walking back out, I pass another woman starting to walk in the door. She sees the kid, who is about to start on the first stall, and the urinals along the wall, and stops dead with the deer-in-the-headlights look, then glances back to make sure she didn't walk in the wrong door. (I think it's that age-old childhood fear of accidentally walking into the wrong restroom at school.)
I laughed. (Is that wrong of me?!)
But, um, can anyone figure out WHY there would ever be a need to switch the men's bathroom & the women's bathroom? When both were completely usable? Weirdness.
Friday, July 31, 2009
And now, for the long-awaited project! (Which, honestly, is partly to blame for my lack of reading lately. That's my story, and I'm sticking to it.)
I took on a project a few (read: many) months ago as a present for my (insert completely non-hyperbolic, totally awesome word that exudes the awesomest awesomeness here) nieces. And then, because I
Making the frog body
The finished products:
Kudos to Amy Gaines, whose adorable amigurumi pattern made these backpacks possible. They were incredibly easier than I ever imagined them to be, and if I decide to do another one sometime in the future, I have full confidence I could get it done fairly quickly and quite well, thanks to what I learned this first time around.
It was my goal this year to read 50 full books in 2009 - only a few more than what I read in '08. Shouldn't be too hard, right? It's not like I'm attempting Corella's 100. So far, though, I'm barely in my 20s (which, for me, is borderline embarrassing). Earlier today I was browsing through my goodreads, looking at all the wonderful books I read in 2008. Some of the bestest books I've read in my life, truly fantastic. A few not-so-fantastic, I'm sure, but all the same... I was reading. This year, my shelf is sorely lacking. Not just in quantity, but also in quality. Oh, there are a few really good books, and very few I wish I hadn't taken the time to read. But I have a lot of ground to make up. It's not like I have a lack of books to read; there are so many lying around at home I could easily reach my goal, not to mention the MUST-READs I have yet to get from the library. I better get crackin'. (But not your beautiful bindings, Coral - worry not!)
As for what I have read recently... the book that stands out the most is one that I won through a goodreads give-away, Valeria's Last Stand. I personally loved this book. I thought it charming, full of dry humor, and a very interesting portrayal of the life and desires of a stubborn older woman that nobody likes (and that returns the favor). That is, until the Potter. The book deals with the conflict of the old versus the new, the time-honored versus the newly advanced, old socialism versus new capitalism. It is quirky and almost playful, in an almost fairy-tale sort of old-fashioned Hungarian village set during present times. The characters are intriguing and unique, and their interactions with each other are clever and fascinating to me. I'm glad this was the first advanced copy I won, and I would totally recommend it. My only caution to future readers comes from a review I found: "The geriatric sex is unnerving." Nuff said.
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
I’m one of those people who have toes that freak some people out – my second toe is longer than my big toe. Now mind you, I don’t have a complex about this. I pretty much don’t care. But some people seem to. My friend Dom commented on this phenomenon a few weeks ago, when after seeing my cutely-sandaled feet, he mentioned that he has a longer 2nd toe as well. Although, apparently his “abnormality” (I hate that word) goes a bit further – all three of his middle toes are the same length, all taller than the big one. Maybe his pinky toe as well, but I really don’t remember. We commiserated a bit about how our “specialness” causes some people to recoil in seeming horror with but a glance at our poor little piggies. (What? You don’t have random 10-minute toe conversations at social gatherings?!)
I’d pretty much forgotten about that conversation until this afternoon in the ladies’ restroom closest to my cube-home (read: cell). First of all, I have to say: Ladies (I assume this goes for gentlemen, too, although I’m less experienced in that area), if you walk into a public restroom and there are several stalls open, never take the empty stall right next to another occupied stall unless absolutely necessary. It’s called common courtesy. But anyway – I was sitting there,
What went through my mind in this moment?
Eww. That’s weird.
I’m a toe supremacist.
(When I have absolutely no right to be.)
(isn’t that the way it always is?!)
Thursday, June 18, 2009
Are the letters on your shirt curved, or is that you? - KUm, yeah. Nothing says uncomfortable like "Hey! I'm looking at your boobs!" If he wasn't so clueless, I'd be offended. He really didn't think anything of it at all. And if we weren't in an in-depth conversation about university logos (unfortunately situated on my shirt), it really would have been awkward. Good times at work.
In other news... My birthday was earlier this week. My very favoritest present? The phone call from my brother, in which my twin 3-year-old nieces sang Happy Birthday to me. Best. Present. Ever.
(So much better than the naked bike ride I *got* to witness in the city last weekend. Really? That is so not attractive.)
Okay. I'm going to go clean something now. Happy almost-weekend!
Saturday, May 30, 2009
If only I had known how very dangerous love was, I wouldn't have loved.
If only I had known how very deep the sea was, I wouldn't have set sail.
If only I had known my very own ending, I wouldn't have begun.
- Nizar Qabbani
Sunday, May 10, 2009
Monday, May 04, 2009
Friday, May 01, 2009
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
(I'm still learning how to use the settings on my camera, so hopefully the quality of such photos will improve in the near future.)
I've also been trying to take advantage of the nearby state park on a more regular basis now that it's warmer. There are some great secluded spots by the lake that are perfect for some nice afternoon reading with the poochie.
There really wasn't much point to this post. So, um... Thanks for reading anyway?
Monday, April 27, 2009
Things I’ve been reading lately… Not enough? On my last two drives to Kentucky, which were timed fairly close together, I started an audiobook that was actually very good, but that I only made it about two-thirds of the way through. Sometimes, when I’m driving for long stretches, listening to someone’s voice reading a story makes me sleepy and I have turn on noisy, fast music that I can sing really loud to in order to keep myself awake. But anyway, one day I’ll actually finish it, whether via the audiobook or the actual book, which is Gentlemen and Players by Joanne Harris. She’s a fantastic writer, and I already have another of her books in the backseat of my car that I’ll probably forget to read before it’s due back at the library.
Another book I’ve read fairly recently is The Darkest Child – I forget who the author is. (Dorothy something? I’d look it up, but I kinda just don’t want to.) I was actually surprised at how much I enjoyed this book, although it’s kind of hard to use a word like “enjoy” for a book that’s so dark and disturbing on so many levels. I read a lot of reviews by people who talked about how much they hated Tangy Mae’s mother, because she was such a horrible person, but I mostly just felt sorry for her, I think. People who would treat their children the way she did in the book have severe mental issues, and it’s mostly a shame that there weren’t people in their part of the world/level of society that could recognize how much help she needed. I thought this book explored very well the truth that love and hate are not necessarily opposites – Tangy Mae, as well as the other children, both very deeply loved and hated their mother, both for good reason. The perspective that the author used to tell the story from Tangy’s eyes was very effective and insightful. As long as you can handle the darker parts of the story, I would recommend this book.
I also recently read Change of Heart by Jodi Picoult. But if you want to read my review of that one, you’ll have to check out my goodreads, mostly because I don’t want to type it all out again. I started reading Labyrinth by Kate Mosse, but I’m already beginning to get bored with it, which isn’t a good sign. I’ll let you know if I actually make it through or not. I’ve also read a bit of pointless chicklit, but to avoid Coral’s positively encouraging comments about those, I won’t go into detail.
Friday, March 27, 2009
Chloe is apparently following in the musical footsteps of the fam
Thursday, March 19, 2009
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
These kids are both fascinated with and terrified by me, although I can't really figure out why for either. Any time I'm outside and they're somewhere nearby, they grin shyly at me until I make eye contact with them and smile - then they run away and hide behind something. The next second they think I'm not looking, they creep back up and stare at me, watching very intently whatever I'm doing, whether it be working in the flower beds or mowing or reading a book in the sun. Or crocheting, apparently. Part of this I'm sure has to do with their age - I would guess the boy to be about 3-4ish, the girl maybe 5-6. Sometimes the girl, in her little blond pigtails, manages to offer up a quick wave before getting embarrassed. Last night was the first time I've really seen them since the brutal winter, so maybe sometime soon I'll be able to draw them out of their shells a little without scaring them (or their parents, of whom I've met only their mom, once, for a 5-minute conversation).
Any ideas how to pull this off?
(You know, other than dressing up in a dinosaur suit and singing children's songs.)
(Although I'm pretty sure that would REALLY scare their parents.)
Friday, March 13, 2009
Thursday, March 12, 2009
Congrats, my friend.
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Wednesday, February 04, 2009
Spilling coffee on your sweater, first thing in the morning.
You know what's an even worse way to start the week?
Poking yourself in the boob for 5 minutes with a tide-to-go stick.
While we're on the subject of ways to start the week, some of the McDonald's up here (albeit not the convenient, on-the-way-to-work one) have "free latte Mondays" or something like that, where they give free 8 oz lattes on Monday to encourage people to try their new McCafé line. I've had the mocha before, which ain't no Starbucks, but isn't too bad for cheapish espresso. So on Monday I decided I was going to go for the free latte, and actually get a true latte this time for something different. Following is my review of the experience.
First of all, I didn't really think about how small an 8 oz cup would be. I felt like I was drinking espresso from a sippy cup. Which, other than reminding me of a Charlie Waffles song, was not too impressive. But how did it actually taste, you ask? My first impression: This is what it would taste like to drink Lucky Charms.
In a nutshell? If you like to drink coffee-tinted sugary children's cereal out of a baby bottle, you should definitely try it.
(I actually did like it, it was just... different.....)
Saturday, January 31, 2009
For some reason I have been craving unbelievable amounts of liquid this week. Maybe it's because I can't chew gum until I figure out why pieces of my teeth keep falling out? I don't know. But it's reached the point of the ridiculous.
I got tired of spending way too much money buying drinks at work, so when I was at
If anybody needs me, I'll probably be in the LGR.
Saturday, January 10, 2009
(Yes, my tree is still up. Whoever can guess what that little box is lying under the tree behind the slutty dog bed gets a prize. I don't know what, but I'm sure I'll think of something appropriate when(if!) the time comes.)
(The dog bed is slutty because its clothes are coming off. I've enrolled it in a 3-step program. Also known as "the washing machine.")
However, I'm mostly just happy my Christmas tree still has all its pieces and whatnot. I bought the thing at wally world my first Christmas in my first apartment. I think. If not then, definitely at the town house. But I'm pretty sure it resided at the mansion, in front of the window that our dear friend "rapist cop" parked next to. Anyhoo, I got it for about $15, the thought process being, This is my first apartment, so it deserves some cheap little tree, I'll get a better one next year once this one falls apart. But, strangely enough, this one has managed to hold itself together through 5 whole Christmases. It still has all its little branches, although I have yet to get a decent tree skirt for it. It really is kinda skimpy and pitiful these days, but I have learned that if you put enough lights on it, any tree can look half-okay. And totally not ghetto at all. (Mostly.) Anyway, when I finally take it down sometime this weekend (or next week... or something... gotta keep a little bit of the War Creek in me alive!), the smart thing to do would be to just get rid of it. Then, next year I'll have to get a new one.
But I won't. I've kinda grown attached to the pitiful little thing. It's been with me through all 4 residences, this one twice, since I've been "on my own." Maybe next year I'll just buy a few new ornaments and let it go at that.
But I really need to get a tree skirt. Nobody likes to be naked in the middle of winter in Chicago.
Friday, January 09, 2009
In the meantime, I just got back on Sunday from a fabulous two weeks in Kentucky.
I got to see my family and some of my wonderful friends, whom I miss with my soul. We also got some discouraging news about the adoption (read more about that here, if you wish). We would all appreciate your prayers.
Sadly enough, the month of December was just crazy enough that I didn't get the chance to do a lot of reading. I don't even remember what I've read lately... pitiful. I do remember reading Remember Me? by Sophie Kinsella... I personally didn't find it quite as good as Undomestic Goddess, but it was still some good chicklit. Over Thanksgiving, I read Havana Nocturne: How the Mob Owned Cuba and Then Lost It to the Revolution by T.J. English. Even though family holiday times made the reading a bit slow, I still really enjoyed this book. And now I've become slightly obsessed with Cuban history. Seriously, so fascinating. I'm currently reading The Meaning of Night: A Confession by Michael Cox, but it's been slow reading for this one, too. I'm having a hard time getting my mind into books lately, for some reason. I also read a couple short Evanovich books - she never ceases to amuse. Um... I think that's it. I'm hoping that now that the Christmas craziness has passed, I'll have more time and mental energy to devour some new good books again.
Okay, it's late, and this post has rambled on enough. Have a great weekend, everybody.