back in the saddle again

I learned a valuable lesson this morning.

It's been a long couple of weeks, with longish work days and not much time spent at home. Which, as you could expect if you know me at all, has manifested itself in the general clutteredness of the house. This morning I was sorting my laundry so I can take it to my parents' to wash tonight, as per usual on a Monday or Tuesday these days. I wanted to be at work early this morning, so I was running around quite early doing several things at once, gathering laundry, watching the weather, getting dressed, finding hangers, looking for clean socks. I got everything done, with enough time to spare for quick Starbucks run even (which turned out to be a good choice, because? FREE SAMPLES. Of coffee. French Roast, my favorite. Made my morning, anyway).

A few hours later, after a long department meeting, I had to make a quick LGR run. During which I discovered a good life lesson. Ready? Here goes: You should never sort your dirty clothes and get dressed at the same time, and NEVER before 6am. Because I'm pretty sure I wore this pair of underwear two days ago. Oops.

Miss me? :)

sit right back and you'll hear a tale

Picture this:

Me. In the bathroom stall at work (okay, so don't actually picture this). Only one other person. Eerily quiet. Trying to keep any and all sounds to a minimum so as not to disturb whatever is going on over there.

Suddenly…
I accidentally pop a really loud bubble with my gum.

Oops.

I waited to leave until after they were done. I hope they knew that was gum……

Oh yeah, and then I broke the paper towel dispenser, and a huge stack of paper towels flooded the counter. True story.

This is exactly what you've waited 6 months for, isn't it?!

til exhausted close our eyelids

One of these days I might take the time to sit down and reminisce about some of the crazy times that have gone on in the last month and a half: I went to a mini-family reunion in southern Illinois, I went to the Former Students’ Day reunion at my high school in Kentucky, I moved (!!!!), I went to Kentucky for Labor Day/my nieces’ 4th birthday, blah, blah, blah. It’s been busy, yo. That’s pretty much all I can say. The long and the short of it is that I’m living in someone else’s house, with a storage unit full of crap*, and that I have added a few thousand miles to my newly-tired, newly-aligned car, and that I have officially driven over every single curb between Algonquin, Holiday Hills and Lake in the Hills with a 24-foot moving truck.

But rather than take the time to write about all that, I’m going about this post the lazy way. Meaning I’m going to copy a bunch of stuff I’ve already written.

For context’s sake, I should first tell you that Corella & I keep each other awake from time to time at work with short, random emails. Here are a few snippets of said emails from me, all from this week. Frankly, you may want to just stop reading now.

•I'm only slightly worried about the yarn, since it's boucle and I'm not completely sure I'll be able to keep it even.

•I need this day to be over, like, now. If I don't leave a vomitous mess on my keyboard before the day is out, it will be a miracle.

•I should have known what this day was going to be like before I even left the house this morning. Like, when I couldn't figure out where my bra was, until I realized 30 seconds later that I'd already put it on. Yep, that kind of a day.

•Boys are stupid. Boy stalkers are just ridiculous.

•I want to hear details of the sobbing. Because I hate her.
(Stop judging. It’s reality tv.)

•I love that one of the pillars of the church uses the word *knockers* at choir practice.

•I just started counting in my head/on my fingers the number of months so far in the fiscal year, but instead of mentally saying "April, May, June, July, August" in my head as I extended each finger, my brain started saying, "Genesis, Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers…"
I. Need. Help.

•When I get married, I'm going to have somebody play just the intro to Let's Get It On as we're running through the birdseed/bubbles/whatever to the car.

•Just remember, it's all about the tongue, baby.

I haven’t fallen asleep yet.




*So full, in fact, that the new roomie was worried when I was late coming home one night that I had stopped by the unit and a bunch of stuff fell on my head and knocked me out.

then later on, on the drive home

You know what's not a great way to start the week? (yes, I'm behind in my blogging again)
Spilling coffee on your sweater, first thing in the morning.
You know what's an even worse way to start the week?
Poking yourself in the boob for 5 minutes with a tide-to-go stick.

While we're on the subject of ways to start the week, some of the McDonald's up here (albeit not the convenient, on-the-way-to-work one) have "free latte Mondays" or something like that, where they give free 8 oz lattes on Monday to encourage people to try their new McCafé line. I've had the mocha before, which ain't no Starbucks, but isn't too bad for cheapish espresso. So on Monday I decided I was going to go for the free latte, and actually get a true latte this time for something different. Following is my review of the experience.

First of all, I didn't really think about how small an 8 oz cup would be. I felt like I was drinking espresso from a sippy cup. Which, other than reminding me of a Charlie Waffles song, was not too impressive. But how did it actually taste, you ask? My first impression: This is what it would taste like to drink Lucky Charms.

In a nutshell? If you like to drink coffee-tinted sugary children's cereal out of a baby bottle, you should definitely try it.

(I actually did like it, it was just... different.....)

Hello, my name is _____, and I'm a teaholic.

I think I might have a slight drinking problem.

For some reason I have been craving unbelievable amounts of liquid this week. Maybe it's because I can't chew gum until I figure out why pieces of my teeth keep falling out? I don't know. But it's reached the point of the ridiculous.

I got tired of spending way too much money buying drinks at work, so when I was at Walgreen’s a really cool store the other night, I bought 2 gallon jugs of Arizona green tea. I took one to work with me the next day. Thursday. By the time I left work last night (Friday!), it was empty. Somehow, in two work days, I managed to drink an entire gallon of tea. And even more shameful? That's not counting the 32 oz. of diet crap from Taco Bell, also consumed during work hours.

If anybody needs me, I'll probably be in the LGR.

I have nothing important to say

Again, it's been awhile. Not much has happened.

The overview:

• Grandma's for Thanksgiving.
• Sick on Thanksgiving.
• Nearly died shopping on the day after Thanksgiving.
• (Not really, but I almost wanted to for a minute there)
• Finally got remote garage door opener, which will hopefully eliminate the locking-myself-out-of-the-house problem. Also, the waking-up-to-find-the-garage-door-open-to-the-world problem.
• Working drains!
• First big snowstorm of the year - almost died on the way to church practice.
• Locked keys in the car on the way to breakfast with the ladies.
• Swing Choir.
• Put up the Christmas tree.
• Dropped a floor lamp on my face, busted my lip.
• Second big snowstorm of the year, almost ran out of gas.

Um, that's about it.

I know, I know, you wish you were me, what with my exciting life and all.

very very merry

Lately at work, I have been on the receiving end of jokes more than usual, and not for no good reason. At least that's what J. & M. think. J. calls me klutzy, and M. just laughs. A lot. At my expense.

Is all this ridicule warranted? You be the judge. In the last week, I have:

• Dropped my little stress-reliever-thingey over the half-wall into M.'s cube, maybe somewhere around 8-10 times? Or some such.
• At home before work one morning, I dropped the lid to my coffee cup, and my attempt to catch said lid (without falling) caused me to slosh hot coffee on my khakis, my sock, and my dog. (Fear not, it wasn't hot enough to burn him!)
• The other day, I was leaning over the half-wall again, with a cup of ice (and a bit of water) that I was getting ready to go fill up, and apparently I was holding mostly onto the lid, which collapsed, causing the cup to drop to the floor (with me holding just the lid). Of course, this spilled ice and water all over the floor in M.'s cube. (Which, of course, he appreciated very much.)
• Another day this week, after filling up my car before work, I went inside to grab some mini-muffins for breakfast. After my typically over-priced purchase, I walked back out to my car and tried to unlock it. I couldn't figure out why the key wouldn't fit into the door, until after about 10 seconds I realized it wasn't my car! I sheepishly started walking toward my own car, only to spot a guy who had just come out of the store giggling at me. (It should also be noted that other than the fact the car I tried to break into was the same color as my car, and was a 4-door, NOTHING about it was like my car. Which only makes it that much more embarrassing that it took me that long to figure it out.)
• I have a little bag (intended for some sort of first aid something-or-other) that is the perfect size in which to keep my at-work change and random dollar bills for quick trips to the cafeteria for snacks. The other day I had taken it with me downstairs at lunchtime, and had put it in the back pocket of my jeans (happy Friday!). Later that afternoon, I went to use the LGR, and in the process managed to very nearly drop the bag into the toilet. In fact, it bounced off the edge of the seat onto the tile behind.

These are just the stories I actually remember from the last week... I'm sure there are a couple others. (I'm sure I tripped several times over nothing at all and run into a wall at least once, per the usual.)

So you tell me, are M. &. J. justified in their snickerings at my lack of grace? (Or, better yet, should I just stop telling them when I do stupid stuff?!)

and the rains came down and the floods came up

Whew, I really need to do better about updating. I'm still blaming my fickle laptop and unbelievably slow and dinosauric pc (although with any luck the laptop issue will be fixed in the next week or so. Yay!)

I could tell you all kinds of things about what has been happening in my life since I've last posted.. all the newsy things, such as my parents' visit in July, or my quick trip home at the beginning in August (which was absolutely wonderful!), or the new Bible study I just joined at church, or the happiness of finally walking into a church where the greeters greet me by name, or the relaxing Labor Day I spent in Madison where I got to play Christmas and open boxes of lots and lots of books... but I won't.

Or, I could also tell you the random things that have been going on in my life of late.... the wonderific experience of melting a piece of chicken in my microwave a week ago (seriously, chicken melts?!)... how to ReaLemon your pet... the experience of salting my carpet to kill flea eggs... the bug-bombing of my house this weekend as a desperate attempt to finally rid my poor doggy of his flea-riddenness, which resulted in my having to go down to the basement to shut off the gas valves to my drier & my stove (how handy am I?!), which resulted in my finding the several inches of water that had flooded my basement (despite the 2 sump pumps and back-up system, all running at full speed), which resulted in a visit from my landlord twice yesterday (with more to come), which resulted in my finding out that not only had all the water put out the pilot light in my hot water heater, but also had most likely screwed up the thermocouple, which resulted in my washing my hair for two days in the cold, cold water in my flooding sink (thanks to a water-logged sewer system) and heating water on the stove to give myself an Ingalls-style sponge bath so I don't get pneumonia. But, I'll spare you the really gory details. Although, finding something to do for 2 hours outside of your house with your doggy on the day that has seen the highest level of rainfall in the Chicago area since they've been keeping records? Very creative.

However, I will tell you about this. Last night was a very significant moment in my life. One I will cherish forever and always. (drum roll, please!) Last night, I made the best biscuits and gravy I've ever made! (you know, out of the 3 times I've attempted...) The sausage gravy was perfect. Not too thin & runny, not too thick, perfectly salted, perfect taste (as perfect as you can get with the sausage choices available up here). And on top of all that, the biscuits & the gravy were done at the exact same time. Um, that was a total accident. But hey, I'll take what I can get! This truly was a momentous occasion. I'd like to thank my dad, for all the Sunday mornings that he spent slaving over the stove when I was in high school to provide my family with such wonderful vittles to partake of, and also for teaching me how to actually do it without making a nasty sausage-flavored paste (that would be attempt #1). I'd like to thank my mom for dragging my butt out of bed all those Sunday mornings so that I could enjoy all the blessings biscuits and gravy bring to one's soul. And lastly, I'd like to thank my local Wal-Mart for providing all the ingredients.

A perfect ending to an eventful weekend.

hope you're not squeamish....

(if so, you may want to stop reading)

I was going to write a normal new post (well, *normal* being completely relative...).

But then my hand decided that it would be fun to stick my finger in my work bag and cut the entire end of said finger wide open.

I hope witty coworker guy isn't freaked out by the blood splattered on the work laptop screen.

(I think I got it all cleaned off.....)




(this should be fun tomorrow, not being able to type and all)
(good thing I'm going to be in 58 hours of meetings. Okay, so 4. Close enough.)

(oh, and if you're wondering on what evil and dangerous device I cut my finger? Not sure. My best guess, based on the bag's contents, is a manila folder. WIDE OPEN. yep, that's me.)

...Let it be stagnation of the mind.

I have come to the conclusion that certain parts of my life could very easily be made into a sitcom or comedic movie of some sort. I mean, really, who couldn't envision Grace Adler resorting to climbing on her 50-something landlord's back and using a crowbar to break into her own house? Or Rachel Green getting finger nail polish spots on the nice wood floors (right before Monica comes home from work)? Or Bridget Jones forgetting her gloves at home and having to clean the snow and ice off her car in negative-degree weather without them and therefore coming down with a mild case of frostbite and/or hypothermia? And we will not even begin to talk about how my work life is so crazy-more hilarious than any episode of the office ever dreamed of being... (I'll withhold the details about that one to protect the not-so-innocent.) And that's only the beginning of the circus that is my life.... Although there are also many aspects that aren't quite so *glamorous*... Meredith Grey never seems to have to worry about dry skin or snow shoveling or dish-washing or a cranky old dog. But I guess that such is the reality that we call life....

So what else is going on my life of late, you ask? (Or maybe you don't, either way I'm going to tell you a little. Provided you continue to read on...)

Mostly, work. The crazy hours I've put in lately have left little time and energy for much else. They keep telling me that it will get better, that once all this gets into some semblence of regular order things will get back to normal. And most of the time I believe them. Mostly because I see the ratio of the craziness to normalcy almost directly correlated to the unknowns that are still being found throughout this process. And it is getting better... I actually had a chance to work on things this week that I've been supposed to have been working on since I started, but have not as yet really been able to, thanks yet again to the craziness. And I found that I enjoyed it... Another realization that has been flowing through my mind again lately (maybe a re-realization?!) is that, I am sure due primarily to the environment in which I was raised, I have to always be learning. When I get to the point in a job or endeavor in my life when I am not learning anymore, I get bored. And unhappy. I would much rather take the craziness and with it constant learning and increased understanding than a steady and stable but un-mentally-stimulating and tired monotony. I have to keep learning, growing, stretching myself. Maybe it is just the point in my life where I am, but somehow I doubt it. Learning has always been a part of my life, and I couldn't imagine it any other way.

Now I'm about to go learn about what a cold whopper tastes like. Have a wonderful weekend.